Surface Laptop 7, will not boot after system restore

Brand new Surface 7 13.8", just received the package yesterday.

I've set it up for my wife, but shortly after network just started timing out querying the router's DNS server (Router is fine, multiple other phones, windows 10 & 11, linux, mac machines work without a hitch).

Tried some fixes to no avail, and decided on a system restore just in case I've messed something up during setup.

System restore looked like it worked, but laptop restarted and ended up with a bluescreen (something kernel something).

System restore is there just fir that, right?

Well, I've started it nine hours ago. Now it's just boot looping with the "preparing" bit and then shuts back down. It's been like that the whole day.

I've even tried to get a USB stick to have the requisite livecd/recovery media, but it doesn't the new Surface ARM-based processor.

What can we even do at this point?