Gradual rollouts with the Windows Update for Business deployment service

Not bad. New features are always welcome. But as you said, "Based on consumer experiences".... you have designed AllowWUfBCloudProcessing
Values like CPU, are not meaningful for companies. A SMARTER gradually rollout should be able to check endpoints before assign them the created waves.
An outdated, or unhealthy SCCM agent could be an issue, an HybridJoin device in PENDING status, a device with no JoinType defined on AAD, Hybrids without an owner which makes INTUNE to not catch workloads passed from SCCM, if a computer belongs to a ring with the Feature PAUSED, WU services stopped, legacy WSUS configs in conflict with INTUNE settings, if a targeted device could be considered as stolen, if it could be tagged as "INSUFFICIENT UPDATE CONNECTIVITY", and so so on...  

Consumer requirements to upgrade are quite less than for enterprises. 

Maybe detect those enterprise grade pre-requesites, and assign not compliant devices to the last wave, will allow us to update faster, and at a predictable speed rate.
Keep in mind that´s the final absolute goal of this subject. Update as much as possible, as fast as possible, as much reliable as possible, just a step lower than your max available corp network capabilities.