Hello JeroMiya, in order to have automatic updates you must have the App Installer feature included (Get App Installer - Microsoft Store). You can find it also on the Store for Business, if you're looking for a package to sideload. Just to clarify, which Windows SKU are you using? IoT Core or IoT Enterprise?
Regarding your requirements, App Installer supports forcing the app to update before launching, as detailed here: App Installer file update settings - MSIX | Microsoft Docs You need to enable both the ShowPrompt and UpdateBlocksActivation in the OnLaunch configuration. When you do this, the user will see a prompt if an update is available, but the only options are to close the app and update, or to continue the update and launch the app. He won't have anymore the option to postpone the update.
Best