Interesting reading and I understand your frustration. I was a bit sceptic at first, but after passing the new exam it wasn't that bad.
From earlier i had MCSA and MCSE, then i upgraded and took Messaging administrator associate. I then took MS-100 and MS-101 to get Enterprise administrator expert. Before Microsoft announced the new re-certification model, I did not have plan to take any more certification because I would spend enough time to renew those in the good old ways (at certification center).
Now I am planning to take MS-700 and MS-500. It means that in the future I will need to do 4 re-certification a year. This I think I can manage with the new model. On the old model it wouldn't be possible.
I have been using my spare time to take all those certifications and work only covers exam expenses. For me certification is a source for me to be updated and something I can use to get higher salary each year. This again means the free time i spent to take certification wasn't "free", but i get it in return with higher salary.