mgolda thanks, i figured out the email address issue after rereading SevenOfNine post.
Sounds like MS needs to have better error messages - they are not 'nice to haves'.
I have utterly failed to get this working - i have auth errors, i have no policies that would block this and security defaults is not enabled because I have policies.
As for checking / setting 'AllowBasicAuthSmtp' when are MS going to realize User Interfaces for admins is not optional, fundamental settings should not only be exposed by PowerShell - also in the blog post it would have been hellla helpful if the link about this went to the right partner of the page - not the root of the page aka something like this https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/exchange/clients-and-mobile-in-exchange-online/disable-basic-authentication-in-exchange-online#create-and-apply-authentication-policies
Also given i am on mac with no local PowerShell and there is no online CLI - thanks for that terrible decision too MS.
But wait there is also this mentioned in the page the blog above linked to https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/exchange/clients-and-mobile-in-exchange-online/disable-basic-authentication-in-exchange-online#manage-basic-authentication-in-the-microsoft-365-admin-center how do these settings change or not change what is happening.
This isn't a preview feature, its alpha quality at best.
Now i have to figure out how/where i get powershell on a mac...