Folder tombstones: this is a touchy and complicated area. Flushing out tombstones too early runs the risk of folder deletes not being replicated everywhere, while keeping them too long makes recovery from a backup a Big Pain. To that end, we already have a registry key override to cut the default expiry time of 180 days down to whatever you want. We'll also be adding code in the next major version of Exchange to flush out more than the current 500 tombstones during each nightly maintenence cycle.
Forcing replication: Right-click/Send Contents doesn't send any previously unsent data. In the next version, we've changed the text to "Resend Contents/Hierarchy", which is really what it does. However, we do have a "kickstart" feature where you can give the replication engine a poke in the side. Just select the folder in ESM, then on the right side of the page, choose the Status tab. Right-click on each replica and choose "Synchronize Content." This wakes things up and raises a little excitement. It does not, however, truly guarantee that things are going to sync up right away - the replication engine is (by design) very latent and passive. It depends on email flow, and employs reasonable delays in its activity to ensure it doesn't flood your network.
This same kickstart is automatically employed when you remove a replica from a server. The server immediately announces to the world that it's going away and if there's any local data that some other server needs, now is the time to get it. Simply removing a server from a replica list should get the system as excited as it needs to be to get the data off that server as quickly as possible,